no one cares if your house is clean

Confession: My toxic trait is pretending no one lives in our house. I think beds should be made every morning, all laundry should be folded and put away, and toilets should be ready for guests to use at a moment’s notice. {This last one is a forever challenge with boys.} Surfaces are non-negotiable. This isn’t a bad trait to have until you don’t really have time for it. I think I drove Jamin constantly mad when we were first married because that’s all I did… Clean. Nothing gives me greater satisfaction than a fresh, clean house. It’s therapeutic for me to clean. It’s very much linked to my anxiety, too. Once upon a time, I thought everyone was like me. Turns out I’m a special breed. Nowadays, I don’t have time for a cleaning service because I work from home, and I’d clean up before they came to clean and then feel guilty that they’re there, and I’m not sure the cycle ever ends. See my champagne probs conundrum?

expectation

reality

Why am I like this? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE.

Then, we got a dog. And I really don’t know what I was thinking. It was the beginning of my downfall and a taste of real life for me, though I had no idea what was coming. That hair almost drove me insane, and I had to learn to compromise. A lot.\xa0

expectation

reality

Fast forward to three active teenagers and two more gigantic dogs later, along with a house that we’ve slowly added on to that isn’t so small anymore and working full time. I’ve had to learn to let some things go if I want to live my life. I don’t have a 9-5 job. I do things that take up time and space, from designing spaces for clients with lots of samples on the floor and creative endeavors to stained glass and oil painting. I’m a whole situation. And that’s just one of the five people that live here.\xa0

expectation

So, I still apologize stupidly if someone comes over unexpectedly. I’m constantly making excuses for my innermost sanctum of creativity. That’s ridiculous. I’m getting better at this habit that has been ingrained, and I still struggle with wanting my house to look a certain way, but here we are. I have to live my life, as do the people in it.\xa0

reality – at least it’s ‘pretty’ chaos? — These are the things I tell myself.\xa0

So here’s a little PSA. I always have photos of my own home {along with clients} online because that’s my job to design spaces. But no one cares if your house is clean when they come over. If they’re judging you, they’re not a good friend and probably need to find something else constructive to do with their time. And if they’re looking at your baseboards, it’s time to find a new friend.

But I said all that to say, you know who really doesn’t care if your house is clean? Teenagers.\xa0

expectation

reality

We long ago decided we wanted our house to be a rotating door for people. This is especially true in the summer months with three teenagers. We’ve grown out of official mass gatherings that include adults, as the kids have gotten older because those honestly wear me out. We just let the kids host whomever they want, pretty much whenever. They don’t care if your house is clean when they come over because that’s impossible. Sure, we can make the beds and try to maintain a little decorum, but our guests are just happy to be here.

They {teenagers} have two requests: want you to feed them and provide a space for them to be.\xa0

expectation

reality

So this was a little PSA I haven’t shared in a while to keep things real. In case you’re feeling overwhelmed this week, {especially this time of year}, this is the state of our house on a typical Wednesday morning after the carnage of getting ready. And this is honestly clean-ish for us. I will twitch a little, do a quick straightening, and then move on. The family pitches in, and we all have days when we play catch-up. We keep things doable. We’re busy living life. Right now, cicadas are invading us, our pool is green, and there’s a little water in the crawlspace after all that torrential down-pouring from last night’s weather. Bigger fish to fry.\xa0

But in the meantime, this is it. I’d rather have a happy messy house full of people than an empty, perfect one.

I may as well enjoy it. Because one day, I’ll have nothing but time.

expectation

reality

expectation

reality – yes those are paint cans on the floor from when we touched up our deck a month ago.

But I said all that to say, hang in there. We’re usually projecting those picture-perfect images, and I can assure you my house rarely actually looks like that. I’ve said it here often, but it bears saying again. You’re doing great. You really are. No one cares. We live here. Spending so much wasted energy on things that don’t matter is ridiculous.\xa0

So here’s a little PSA: No one cares if your house is clean.
Now go run free with your wild selves and have an inspired day!